Sunday joke.

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman Said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there.
We've got dogs with us."

The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."

They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand.
This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,"What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog"

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
The woman with the Chihuahua said,




"A Chihuahua? They gave me a f.........g Chihuahua ?!"

Ride to Rampart Res...part 1

Sitting on a granite plateau at approximately 9,000 feet elevation, Rampart Reservoir close proximity to Colorado Springs provides area residents a variety of recreational opportunities. The 500-acre lake is surrounded by trails and forest making it a great place to hike, bike, picnic, fish, wakeless boating and camp. The 230' high and 3400' long dam were completed in 1969. The Reservoir is the City of Colorado Springs storage for 13 billion gallons of domestic water. Because the Reservoir is a domestic water supply, it is subject to considerable drawdown during dry years. Mountain biking is popular on Rampart and Rainbow Gulch Trails. Facilities in the area include a boat ramp, improved campgrounds, picnic tables, and toilets.

There is a bear........

up in that tree. Dave has so wanted to see a bear. He got his wish today. Pat spied it early this morning already in the tree. Dave said he might be there all day with all the people and dogs havin a look.

Sunday joke.

Two Alligators were sitting around talking....

......and the smaller Alligator turned to the bigger one & said,



'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same
age; we were the same size as kids.. I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Gator, 'what have you been eating?'

'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Gator.

'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the
Capitol'

'Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?'

'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars & wait
for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab
them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'


'Ah!' says the big Alligator, 'I think I see your problem..
You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the
time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician,
there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.

Happy Flowers to you!

Happy flowers to you until we meet again.
Happy flowers to you until we meet again.
Happy flowers to you until we meet again.

Sunday joke.

Subject: NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN:

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.
What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

‘You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual
assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'

‘Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

Guess who is gone?

Yes folks the park can breathe again. Bye, have a good life!

So .....

You know a few weeks ago I was surfing for ...yes....puppies and ran across Norma & Lou. We had gotten Maggie from them. We had lost contact with them for quite a few years. Maggie was 3 labs ago and the dog Dave named our boat Maggie Girl after. Well, we ended up knocking on Norma & Lou's door. It was a nice reunion. We had a great visit. We played with their labs and found out that one cute black girl was due with puppies on 7/9. Of course someone whispered in Norma's ear upon leaving to put me down for a yellow girl. The parents were both black but both carried yellow. I emailed Norma a few days back to see if there were any puppies yet. She called today with sad news. There were 2 puppies born. She has been trying to save one but it died.
What did she end up having........One yellow girl......Hum!

Sunday joke.

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed......

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."


The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed......

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again......

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

Happy Birthday Judy!!!

Hi there, happy bday! I cannot believe it is your big _0! I have been trying to call you for 2 weeks. What's up???? Love ya, Deb

Daisy's last day here.

Dottie has found a home for Daisy. It is exactly what I have been telling Daisy it would be. A nice house, kids to play with and a great backyard. What more could a good girl want? Bye baby!

Surprise!

I wish I were there. Vera told me about a luncheon that Penny was having for Mom's siblings. So I schemed a surprise! I sent my Swedish Weaving projects there for the party. There is a UPS business here in Woodland Park and a USPS office. Let's talk prices. UPS wanted $83.00 to get it there July 5th by noon. I took a chance and used USPS for their regular mail delivery on Tuesday for $18.00. Hummmm....
Anyway a good time was had by all. Mom, you have a great family. I love them all so much!!!! Here's some photo's of my SW projects. The top two are my first "big girl panties" ones. Thanks Phil. Yeah, I finally did a yard!

Sunday joke.

Ed the chicken

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'

Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ed.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard..... "Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!"

Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!