Sunday joke.

THE TOILET SEAT

My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take

care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.

We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.

Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.).

Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them......

I just never saw one mounted and framed."

Luc.

When we picked out Luc he had a dark brown yarn on. I have gone back thru all the puppy pictures to pull all those that I can see the brown yarn.

Day one.

Week 2.

Week 3.

Week 4.

Week 5.

Introducing....Jean Luc

So we visit the relatives in Iowa and have a great time as usual. I did not see my sister tho, she is in AZ basking in the warm sun. Stay there Donna it's cold at your Iowa home! We were scheduled to pick up our new lab at 2:00pm on Wednesday, January 18th.

Dave has always been upset about not being able to pick his pup. When we arrived Julie had 2 puppies we could chose from. Thanks Julie! I have a sneaking feeling you knew which one we would take.

Decisions, decisions which one do we take?

We decided on the bigger lighter one!

Off for the long ride home.

Hi there! More puppy pictures!

We are visiting relatives in Iowa and having lotsa fun. Last night we took dinner to Uncle Clifford and then played GOLF (cards) and GUTS, otherwise known as Farkel. We left NM last Thursday. After driving 750 miles to Pratt, KS we stopped. The Super 8 room was very strange. It was huge with 1 king bed and a couch. Off the next morning another 420 miles to Trenton, MO. We stayed with Aunt Barb and Uncle Ray. Barb's twin sister Bev and her husband Roy and their son Brad and his wife Karen came over to chat the night away. Off the next morning and another 200 plus day we arrive at Vera's. The matriarch of Mom's family. We just had to watch the Bronco game. But I think we all knew that we would have to have a biiiiggg miracle for a win. There was no miracle. But last weeks game.....DAMN!!!!
I have not been on the computer much...gabbing with relatives takes priority! I looked this morning to find more puppy pictures and.....another job offer. So far we have offers in: Ohio, WY, CO and now ND. We love workamping. It is the only way to be...:-O)
We still don't know which puppy we will get or whether it will be a boy or girl. Julie says they weigh 12-14 pounds. Sorry Wylie? Look at these babies! Can't wait until Wednesday. Oh by the way it is too damn cold here!!!!!

sunday joke

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.


"Good man," the fairy said, "I've been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children."


The man told the fairy "Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."


The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING !-- he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!


"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two more to go."


The refugee claimant now got bolder. "I need a big house with a three-car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country.. I want to bring them all over here" --- and -- PING !-- in the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three-car garage, a long driveway,and a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.


"One more wish," said the fairy, waving her wand.


" Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans" ---and --- PING ! -- The man was transformed - wearing worn-out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt, and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.


"What happened to my new teeth?" he wailed. "Where is my new house?"


THIS IS GOOD . . . . . . . .


NO, ACTUALLY THIS IS VERY GOOD
. . . . .. .


The fairy said, "Tough shit, Amigo, now that you are a white American, you have to fend for yourself."

So sad.

A New Word Is Born



I knew someone would find a name for

our election process for 2012.

Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become

aroused over any of the choices for President

put forth by either party in the 2012 election year.

Old pictures.

Well the 9 year old laptop is giving me troubles so I ordered an i mac. I also switched to our other laptop. It is so fun and so sad to look at old pictures. I found some great ones of our past kids, Mac and Jaz. I miss them so much. In a few weeks we start again with a lab pup. Please give us many years of happiness?

Yup!

I am really concerned about North Korea's appointment of the "dear leader", Kim Jung Ill's youngest son to be the new leader of North Korea -- a nuclear power!

After all, Kim Jung Un (pronounced Kim's young-un?) had NO military experience whatsoever before daddy made him a four-star general in the military. This is a snot-nose twerp who has never accomplished anything in his life that would even come close to military leadership: he hasn't even so much as led a cub scout troop, let alone coached a sports team or commanded a military platoon. So, setting that aside, next they make him the "beloved leader" of the country. Terrific!!!

Oh, crap! I'm sorry. I just remembered that we did the same thing here, We took a community organizer who has never worn a uniform and made him Commander-in-Chief; a guy who has never led anything more than an ACORN demonstration and made him the leader of this country. Never mind.

Sunday joke.

The pastor asked the congregation if anyone wished to express praise for answered prayers. Judy Smith stood and walked to the podium.
She said, “I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. “Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. “Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.” All the men sighed with unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Tom Smith.” The entire congregation held its breath. “I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.”