Sunday Joke.

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ...' KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now She's hitting the bottle. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?' POLICE #2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?

Sunday Joke.

Have a great day!

A priest and a bus driver both died and went to heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where Pope St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door. There are about 50 acres of rolling hills with a little cottage on the knoll. St. Peter turns to the priest and says "This will be yours for eternity. a perfect little cottage, right next to a lovely pond, a lush little garden, and a library of books." The priest says, "Thank you so much. This I shall enjoy." St. Peter drops off the priest, goes back to the pearly gates and motions to the bus driver. They hop in a stretch limo and go out the front door. There are 500 acres of land, with mountains and lakes and rivers. There is a huge 200-room castle on one of the mountains and a wishing well that makes wishes come true. St. Peter says "This will be yours for eternity. You can live in that castle with servants to wait on you hand and foot, and you can have everything you want." The bus driver looks at St. Peter says "Well, now, don't think I'm not grateful, but why am I getting so much more than the priest?" St. Peter just laughs and says "You brought more souls to Heaven! When the priest preached, everyone fell asleep. When you drove your bus, people prayed!"

Words from a good book!

I have a new author, Tamar Myers. She writes a Pennsylvania-Dutch Mystery series. Nothing like an old Iowan reading about the Amish! This morning (doing my favorite reading in bed for a bit before I get up) I read some words that made me chuckle......................................... When your mind starts to get too busy, or filled with unwelcome thoughts,

the only way to clear it is to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty.

Dirty hands, however, you can always wash. A dirty mind, however, is a first-class ticket to hell. Hum.......Ha ha ha..................

Happy Birthday!!!

I should have done this earlier today but....

Happy Birthday Linda!

Sunday joke.

Nine Months Later

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's
minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who
answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all
to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the
neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said . 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if
the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light. 'The lady agreed, and the
two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an
attorney.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined
that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski
weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up
north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' said Bob

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the
house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out,
'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your
name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy,
I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

And you thought the ending would be different didn't you?... you know
you smiled... now keep that smile for the rest of the day!

Easter Sunday.

What is Easter Sunday?


Answer: There is a lot of confusion regarding what Easter Sunday is all about. For some, Easter Sunday is about the Easter Bunny, colorfully decorated Easter eggs, and Easter egg hunts. Most people understand that Easter Sunday has something to do with the resurrection of Jesus, but are confused as to how the resurrection is related to the Easter eggs and the Easter bunny.

Biblically speaking, there is absolutely no connection between the resurrection of Jesus Christ and the common modern traditions related to Easter Sunday. As a background, please read our article on the origins of Easter. Essentially, what occurred is that in order to make Christianity more attractive to non-Christians, the ancient Roman Catholic Church mixed the celebration of Jesus' resurrection with celebrations that involved spring fertility rituals. These spring fertility rituals are the source of the egg and bunny traditions.

The Bible makes it clear that Jesus was resurrected on the first day of the week, Sunday (Matthew 28:1; Mark 16:2; 9Luke 24:1; John 20:1; 19). Jesus' resurrection is most worthy of being celebrated (see 1 Corinthians 15). While it is appropriate for Jesus' resurrection to be celebrated on a Sunday, the day on which Jesus' resurrection is celebrated should not be referred to as Easter. Easter has nothing to do with Jesus' resurrection on a Sunday.

As a result, many Christians feel strongly that the day on which we celebrate Jesus' resurrection should not be referred to as "Easter Sunday." Rather, something like "Resurrection Sunday" would be far more appropriate and biblical. For the Christian, it is unthinkable that we would allow the silliness of Easter eggs and the Easter bunny to be the focus of the day instead of Jesus' resurrection.

By all means, celebrate Christ's resurrection on Easter Sunday. Christ's resurrection is something that should be celebrated every day, not just once a year. At the same time, if we choose to celebrate Easter Sunday, we should not allow the fun and games to distract our attention from what the day should truly be all about—the fact that Jesus was resurrected from the dead, and that His resurrection demonstrates that we can indeed be promised an eternal home in Heaven by receiving Jesus as our Savior.

To learn more about how Jesus' death and resurrection provided for our salvation, please read the following article: What does it mean to accept Jesus as your personal Savior?

Cool trip pictures from Linda.

George & me!

George & Luc!

A great one of Linda. Thanks for the photos!

Cool road trip more cliff dwellings.

The trip continues.

Linda

The guys: Newell, George and Dave

Cool road trip on to the Gila Cliff Dwellings.

What an awesome place!

They say......

Welcome to Gila Cliff Dwellings

Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument offers a glimpse into the homes and lives of the Mogollon people who lived in this area over 700 years ago.


Gila National Forest

The monument is surrounded by the Gila National Forest and lies within the rugged Gila Wilderness, the nation's first wilderness area. The wilderness designation means that the wilderness character of the area will not be altered by the intrusion of roads or other evidence of human presence.

There was a gal that was volunteering at the entrance to the dwellings. Her husband was up at the dwellings. It was their 2nd season there. They were from Chicago.

On the way up there are benches to rest on.

They are up there!

Water!

Sunday Joke.

This Is The Best Dog Story



They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie, as I looked at him
lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really
friendly.

I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the
small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when
you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new
life here, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And
I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said
they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people
who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever
that meant. They must've thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie
and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of
which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes and a sealed letter from his
previous owner.

See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We
struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to
adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust,
too.

Maybe we were too much alike.

I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that. "Okay,
Reggie," I said out loud, "let's see if your previous owner has any
advice."

____________ _________ _________ _________

To Whomever Gets My Dog:

Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told
the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner. I'm not even happy
writing it. He knew something was different.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond
with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. The more the merrier. Sometimes I think
he's part squirrel, the way he hoards them. He usually always has two in his
mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't
matter where you throw them, he'll bound after them, so be careful.
Don't do it by any roads.

Next, commands. Reggie knows the obvious ones ---"sit," "stay," "come,"
"heel."

He knows hand signals, too: He knows "ball" and "food" and "bone" and
"treat" like nobody's business.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, regular store-bought stuff; the shelter
has the brand.

He's up on his shots. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck
getting him in the car. I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the
vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. It's only been Reggie and me for his whole
life. He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily
car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or
complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

And that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you...His
name's not Reggie. He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to
it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn't bear to give them his real
name. But if someone is reading this ... well it means that his new
owner should know his real name. His real name is "Tank." Because, that is
what I drive.

I told the shelter that they couldn't make "Reggie" available for adoption
until they received word from my company commander. You see, my parents
are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with ... and it
was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they
make one phone call to the shelter ... in the "event" ... to tell them that
Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my CO is a dog-guy, too, and he
knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if
you're reading this, then he made good on his word.

Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the
Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of
your family, too, and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way
he loved me.

If I have to give up Tank to keep those terrible people from coming to
the US I am glad to have done so. He is my example of service and of love.
I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that's enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this
letter off at the shelter. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got
that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss
goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you,

Paul Mallory
____________ _________ _________ _______

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure, I had
heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me.
Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver
Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at
half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring
at the dog.

"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.

The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

"C'mere boy."

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor.
He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't
heard in months. "Tank," I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears
lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just
seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my
face into his scruff and hugged him.

"It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me." Tank
reached up and licked my cheek.


"So whatdaya say we play some ball?" His ears perked again.

"Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?"

Tank tore from my hands and disappeared into the next room. And when he
came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

If you can read this without getting a lump in your throat or a tear in
your eye, you just ain't right.



A veteran is someone who, at one point, wrote a blank check made

payable to 'The United States of America' for an amount of 'up to

and including their life.'

That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country

who no longer understand it.

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him,

but because he loves what is behind him."
G. K. Chesterton