Sunday Joke.

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and
a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He
opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father,
what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with
cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned.' He then returned to
his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long
have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here
that the Pope does.'

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Who am I ?

Did you get the answer?

A HABIT!

Who am I?

I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest asset or your heaviest burden.
I will push you up to success or down to disappointment.
I am at your command.
Half the things you do might just as well be turned over to me, for I can do them quickly, correctly and profitably.
I am easily managed, just be firm with me.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with the precision of a machine and the intelligence of a person.
You can run me for profit or you can run me for ruin.
Show me how you want it done.
Educate me. Train me.
Lead me. Reward me.
And I will then… do it automatically.
I am your servant. Who am I?

Sunday Joke.

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement
a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two
points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would
be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his
head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked o ut
with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out
with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when
asked where he would like to be measured replied,

'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.

But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing
the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived
and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer
placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work
back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,

''Where are your testicles?''

The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''.




I Love This Country!
It's The Government That
Scares The Hell Outa Me

It's a boy!

Luc is 12 weeks ago and weighs 27.7 pounds. He is good 20 hours of the day. The other four consists of a nice boy or a hell raiser. Dave caught a carp for him to play with. His first fish!

Email, USA joke hotline.

Here's some cute ones!

Sunday Joke.

Financial Planning 101

Dan was a single guy, working in the family business with his father.

When he figured out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to enjoy his fortune and perceived lifestyle.

One evening, at an investment seminar, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but my father will soon die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at some aspects of financial planning than men.

New pictures of Luc!

Luc is 78 days old today. Here's some new photo's.

Company!

Donna & Scott stopped by on their way home after their first time renting a house in Gold Canyon. We went on a 300 mile circle tour. Our first stop was White Sands Nat'l Monument.

There is a great path to walk around on the dunes. I could not believe that Luc made it all the way around.

The next stop was for lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Alamogordo. We bought some pistachio's there.

Dave drove North out of town to the Circle of Fire. The earth opened up and lava flowed to the surface.

Sunday Joke.

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now...