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Blogging 2009-present. A nomad? One who wanders, always, and claims no home.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Happy Easter!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Antenna Hill or Mountain?
Our first jeep outing with Bill & Maurene and Newell & Linda.
We are heading to the top of that hill!
It was a cloudy day!
We're getting closer!
The lake from here.
Moo.
My current screen saver!
Oh, the other side!
Pretty!
We made it to the top!
More later!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday Joke!
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him,
Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots,
But they only know to say one thing.'
'What do they say?' the priest asked.
They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment.....
'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible...
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.'
'Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest's house....
As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying...
Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them...
After a few minutes,
The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
There was stunned silence...
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,
'Put the beads away, Frank,
Our prayers have been answered!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Sunday Joke!
Retirement !!!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the
couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all
day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get
everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10%
discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for a senior who still works and refuses
to retire?
Answer: Nuts
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or
garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will
want to store stuff there. Or move back in there . . .
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break…spiked !
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls
your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the
people he worked
with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the
whole truth.
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through
Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
Just
before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow
and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied..
'Two
years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker
commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
|
Reporters
interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best
thing about being 104?' the reporter asked
She simply replied, 'No peer
pressure.'
|
The
nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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I've
sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new
knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind,
can't
hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that
make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with
dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet
anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my
friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
|
I
feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's
permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided
to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped
up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my
leotards on, the class was over.
|
An
elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two
final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she
wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?'
the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure
my daughters visit me twice a week'
|
My
memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it
used to be.
|
Know
how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
|
It's
scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
|
These
days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
|
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked
anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to
tell the difference.
|
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Go for a drive. Look for the comet!
Bright Comet Pan-STARRS in Night Sky: How to See It
March 12, 2013; 1:12 PM
The first of two bright comets predicted for 2013 will soon be appearing in the evening sky for observers in the Northern Hemisphere. The comet — while not as bright as first predicted — will still be more brilliant than any comet seen in recent years, so here are some tips to spot the celestial wanderer.
The path of Comet C/2011 L4 (Pan-STARRS) over the next month. CREDIT: Starry Night Software
The Comet Pan-STARRS, known officially as C/2012 L4 (PANSTARRS) will be readily visible with the unaided eye, though binoculars will be a help for spotting it against the twilight sky. Weather permitting, the comet could be as bright as a first-magnitude star on the brightness scale of night sky objects (the lower the number, the brighter the object).
After months appearing in the Southern Hemisphere night sky, Comet Pan-STARRS will make its first appearance in the Northern Hemisphere sky on Thursday (March 7).
How to see Comet Pan-STARRS
To see the comet, look for it in the west, just to the
left of the point on your horizon where the sun sets, shortly after sunset
beginning in the next few days. [How to see the
comet]
If this advice sounds a little vague, it is because
comets are slightly unpredictable, in particular their brightness. Also,
observing locations vary widely in their suitability to observe objects close
to the sun.
Try to find a site with a very low western horizon to
improve your chances of catching sight of the comet early. The farther south
you live on Earth, the more likely you are to see it early. Any haze in the air
will make it harder to see the comet.
Comet Pan-STARRS
made its closest approach to Earth on Tuesday (March 5), when
it passed by at a range of about 102 million miles (164 million kilometers).
The only large objects closer to Earth on that date were the moon (at a range
of 228,442 miles, or 367,642 km), the planet Mercury (58 million miles, or 93
million km) and the sun (92 million miles or 148 million km).
Comet at its best next week
Comet Pan-STARRS will be at its brightest on Sunday
(March 10) when it makes its closest approach to the sun. At that time the
comet will be about 28 million miles (45 million km) from the sun — a bit
closer to the star than Mercury, which will be about 37 million miles (60
million km) from the sun. [Comet Pan-STARRS
in Night Sky Explained (Infographic)]
The comet will still be low in the western sky on
Sunday, and may be lost in the sun's glare. It will fade in brightness over the
next few days, but at the same time will be higher in the sky at sunset.
SPACE.com will provide up-to-date information on sighting opportunities for the
comet.
Two comet-watching dates to prepare for now will be next
Tuesday and Wednesday (March 12 and 13). On those evenings, the thin crescent
moon will be close to the comet in the sky.
Depending on the size and direction of the comet's tail,
the moon may actually be silhouetted against the tail on March 13.
On April 3, Comet Pan-STARRS will pass within a few degrees of
the Andromeda Galaxy, making for a great photo opportunity for stargazers with
telescopes. The comet and the galaxy will both shine at about 5th-magnitude on
that date.
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