Sunday Joke!

THE NUN AND THE HIPPIE
     
A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun.  He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?" 

"No," she replies, "I'm married to God."  She stands up, and gets off at the next stop. 

The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says: "I can tell you how to get to have sex with her!"
  
"Yeah?", says the hippie. 

 "Yeah!", say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God." 


 The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night. 

"I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his Face. "Have sex with me." 

The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity. 

  'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish. 

  "Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippie!"


"Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver!
 

Bemidji, MN Paul Bunyan, Babe the Blue Ox and the Mississippi River Source.

The home of Babe the Blue Ox and Paul Bunyan, Bemidji, MN.  

                                                        Weird bird.

Bemidji is also the headwaters of the mighty Mississippi River.  We had to see it since we were so close to it.

As you can see it is a popular spot. Here's were you walk across the headwaters.

                                                              Dave and baby Sarah!

It think it's a cool world!

Back to summer blog updates!

Yes, I am a bit behind on blog updates.  Here we are with Dennis & Sharon in June.  We camped in Chisholm, MN.  Where the mosquitoes are as large as George & Gracie, the barn swallows, that made a nest in our garage when were building the house on Wasatch, in Longmont!

What does he have?

Hey Phil, here's a new twist, ha ha!

 This gal watched Dave walk away as she scolded him for taking a picture of her wares. Well.

this guy had just bought one and said "Hey dude, here take a picture of mine!

Sunday Joke!

Make sure you understand the question first....

All you Grandpas and Grandmas, this was too funny not to forward.

We are all reaching that stage where we need to keep the wax out of our ears 
and keep the hearing aids tuned up. (Some of us anyway!) Enjoy!

--- What Is Couple Sex?

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is a couple sex?  The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities that go along with it.  When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey? The little girl replied, "Well, Grandma says to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.

Sunday Joke!

GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 

1. He called everyone brother 
2. He liked Gospel 
3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 

1. He went into His Father's business 
2. He lived at home until he was 33 
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 

1. He talked with His hands 
2. He had wine with His meals 
3. He used olive oil

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 

1. He never cut His hair 
2. He walked around barefoot all the time 
3. He started a new religion

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 

1. He was at peace with nature 
2. He ate a lot of fish 
3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 

1. He never got married. 
2. He was always telling stories. 
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a woman: 

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food 

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it 

3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because

there was still work to do

Can I get an AMEN!!

Sunday Joke.

My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover.

At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."

Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."

Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."

The pharmacist said, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week."

Sunday Joke!

The day finally arrived.   Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.  He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.   St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.   We have heard a lot about you.  I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering  an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.'   Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.   But nobody ever told me about any entrance  exam. I sure hope the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.'   St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I  know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week  begin with the letter T?       Second: How many seconds are there in a year?       Third: What is God's first name?'   Forrest leaves to think the questions  over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.'   Forrest replied, 'Well, the  first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?   Shucks, that one is easy.   That would be Today and Tomorrow.'   The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.   How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.      'How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'   Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year ? Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve:January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '   'Hold it, interrupts St. Peter.   'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give  you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.   Can you tell me God's first name'? 'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.'   'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.  Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'   You are going to love this …..

'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied.

'I learnt it from the song,   ANDY WALKS WITH ME,   ANDY TALKS WITH ME,   ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'   St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,   and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'       Lord, Give me a sense of humor   Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,   To get some humor out of life.