Elephant Butte, NM

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sunday Joke!


To Be 8 again! 



A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not
far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.  Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?



Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.'I meant my dress size, you f@*#*! idiot!'


The moral of the story: Even when a man IS listening, he's gonna get it wrong.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Sunday Joke!







An older couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.


   The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of    a no-nonsense guy.
   One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
   She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
   If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. ...
   If you are laughing, send me your smile.
   If you are eating, send me a bite.
   If you are drinking, send me a sip.
   If you are crying, send me your tears.
   I love you.
 
   The husband text-ed back to her:
 
   I'm on the toilet.     Please advise.


Sunday, March 16, 2014

Sunday Joke or test!





THE BABY BOOMER GAME

MEMORY TEST! 
(Have a paper and pencil handy to record your answers. Your mind isn't as sharp as it once was!) 

This is NOT a pushover test. It's a Baby Boomer era test! 

There are 20 questions. Average score is 12 ... 
This one will be difficult for the younger  set.

Have fun, but no peeking!

Comment your score. 

Good luck, youngsters!

1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways? 
A. Flintstones vitamins 
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti 
D. Wonder Bread 
E. Orange Juice 
F. Milk 
G. Cod Liver Oil


2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was... 
A. Sugar Ray Robinson. 
B. Roy Orbison.
C. Sonny Bono.
A. Sugar Ray Robinson. 
B. Roy Orbison.
C. Gene Autry. 
D. Rudolph Valentino. 
E. Fabian. 
F. Mickey Mantle. 
G. Cassius Clay.


3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and...
A. It's you. 
B. He is us. 
C. It's the Grinch. 
D. He wasn't home. 
E. He's really me and you. 
F. We quit. 
G. He surrendered.


4. Good night, David. 
A. Good night, Chet 
B. Sleep well. 
C. Good night, Irene. 
D. Good night, Gracie. 
E. See you later, alligator. 
F. Until tomorrow. 
G. Good night, Steve.


5. You'll wonder where the yellow went... 
A. When you use Tide 
B. When you lose your crayons. 
C. When you clean your tub. 
D. If you paint the room blue. 
E. If you buy a soft water tank. 
F. When you use Lady Clairol. 
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent. 


6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's 
friend... 
A. Stuart Whitman. 
B. Randolph Scott. 
C. Steve Reeves. 
D. Maynard G. Krebs.
E. Corky B. Dork. 
F. Dave the Whale. 
G. Zippy Zoo.


7. Liar, liar... 
A. You're a liar. 
B. Your nose is growing. 
C. Pants on fire. 
D. Join the choir 
E. Jump up higher. 
F. On the wire. 
G. I'm telling Mom.


8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and... 
A. Wheaties. 
B. Lois Lane. 
C. TV ratings. 
D. World peace. 
E. Red tights. 
F. The American way. 
G. News headlines.


9. Hey kids! What time is it? 
A. It's time for Yogi Bear. 
B. It's time to do your homework. 
C. It's Howdy Doody Time. 
D. It's time for Romper Room. 
E. It's bedtime. 
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour. 
G. Scoopy Doo Time.


10. Lions and tigers and bears..! 
A. Yikes. 
B. Oh, no. 
C. Gee whiz. 
D. I'm scared. 
E. Oh my. 
F.. Help! Help! 
G. Let's run.


11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone... 
A. Over 40. 
B. Wearing a uniform. 
C. Carrying a briefcase. 
D. Over 30. 
E. You don't know. 
F. Who says, 'Trust me'.
G. Who eats tofu.


12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's 
stockings... 
A. Troy Aikman 
B. Kenny Stabler 
C. Joe Namath 
D. Roger Staubach 
E. Joe Montana 
F. Steve Young 
G. John Elway


13. Brylcream... 
A. Smear it on. 
B. You'll smell great. 
C. Tame that cowlick. 
D. Grease ball heaven. 
E. It's a dream. 
F. We're your team. 
G. A little dab'll do ya.


14. I found my thrill... 
A. In Blueberry muffins. 
B. With my man, Bill. 
C. Down at the mill. 
D. Over the windowsill. 
E. With thyme and dill. 
F. Too late to enjoy. 
G. On Blueberry Hill. 


15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by... 
A. Clark Gable. 
B. Mary Martin. 
C. Doris Day. 
D. Errol Flynn. 
E. Sally Fields. 
F. Jim Carrey. 
G. Jay Leno.


16. Name the Beatles... 
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo 
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe 
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo 
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo 
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo 
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel 
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo


17. I wonder, wonder, who.
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?


18. I'm strong to the finish...
A. Cause I eats my broccoli.
B. Cause I eats me spinach.
C. Cause I lift weights.
D. Cause I'm the hero.
E. And don't you forget it.
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me.
G.. To outlast Bruto.


19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today.
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera.
B. Smile, you're on Star Search.
C. Smile, you won the lottery.
D. Smile, we're watching you.
E. Smile, the world sees you.
F. Smile, you're a hit.
G. Smile, you're on TV.


20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy! 
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.
C. Make you fat.
D. Melt your heart.
E. Make you popular.
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
G. Come in colors.


Below are the right answers:

1. D - Wonder Bread
2. G - Cassius Clay
3. B - He Is us
4. A - Good night, Chet
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D - Maynard G. Krebs 
7. C - Pants on fire 
8. F - The American Way  
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time
10. E - Oh my 
11. D - Over 30
12. C - Joe Namath
13. G - A little dab'll do ya
14. G - On Blueberry Hill
15. B - Mary Martin
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera
20. F - Melt in your mouth not in your hand