Sunday Joke!

The  wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex  movie last  night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her  part.

I've  accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell  disaster. 

My  sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I  should have taken them off. 

I  spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or  "foreplay" as  she likes to call it.

I  woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I  got downstairs  and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I  panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's  serves breakfast  until 11:30. 

Bought  the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night,  and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris  wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told  her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
 

My  missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she  screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh,"  I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

A  Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned,  I masturbated  while thinking about my sister."  "That's a disgrace," said the  priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous  brothers."

Sunday Joke.

Sorry for the lack of a Sunday Joke.  I stoled Jo and we did an Iowa/MO. trip.
We had fun and tragedy too!  Uncle Cliff died Aug 19th and Marcy had a heart attack but is home.

Leaving in the morning for Woodland Park.  Dave has a roof job that has been waiting thru weather to get done.  Then on to EB.

We need some laughs………….Enjoy the joke!

Click on the link below.

MORE OF MRS. BROWN

Old Ladies with Spray Glue

OK… you better be watching this in a place where you can laugh out loud!!

A little language and off color humor but funny to say the least!

Ya gotta love the Brits.

If ya don't laugh at this one, check and see if ya got a pulse.

 

http://www.youtube.com/embed/tjJc8xLYhak

 

Sunday Joke!

2 Priests.

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation

by not wearing anything that would identify them

as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed

for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts,

shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach

dressed in their 'tourist' garb.

They were sitting on beach chairs,

enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a

'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini

came walking straight towards them..

They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said

'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,'

nodding and addressing each of them individually,

then she passed on by. They were both stunned.

How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store

and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. 

After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a

different coloured topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking

toward them.  Again she nodded at each of them, said

'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,'

and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said,

'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?'

'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know,

how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as

we are?' She replied,

'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'