Sunday joke. Happy Memorial Day. Take a moment to thanks those that fought for our freedom.

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........

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My tire was thumping..
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.



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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"



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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.



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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?



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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.



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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.



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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.



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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )



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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!



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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.



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We have been friends for a very long time.

let's say we stop?



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.



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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?



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Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.



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So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

I have a request.

Kathy would like some sunset pictures. Here you go, girlfriend!

Here a squirt, there a squirt everywhere a squirt, squirt!

You guys will miss me someday! The funniest thing happened yesterday. I was looking at all the STUFF left on the beach at low tide when I noticed "squirts". They were everywhere. It was like a guy was buried in the sand and was peeing but just a squirt! Dave was chatting with a guy when I asked "what is squirting on the beach?" The guy replied "clams." Hum, thought I. A few hours later Dave says "how about clams for dinner?" Yes, lets go see what's squirting! Rookies, they are filled with fun, excitement and wonder aren't they? Well, under every squirt is a butter clam. How exciting! Pete the other workamper saw us digging and watching and ask what we were up to. "Oh, just waiting for the squirts." Dave tried a new recipe. Boy were those SQUIRTS good!

What is a coolie?

Neck coolies are a bit like neck ties except you put about a teaspoon of water crystals inside the fabric. These crystals are the same ones used by gardeners to help their watering process by not needing as much water because these crystals store and enlarge when added to water. If you soak neck coolies for 15 minutes or so they will enlarge and stay cool. Then you tie them around your neck for cool relief from the heat. They are great on a hot day. I made one for each member of my team when I walked the Avon 3 day in Colorado. They saved our lives. It was so HOT. People were getting road rash on the back of their legs from the heat of the concrete. I didn't thank God. We could dunk our coolies in the ice coolers where they had the drinks cooling. It was a wonderful relief. After you have used them they will dry and flatten out to be used many more times.

Patti is the team leader for this walk. We have 3 members so far. I have not met them yet. Our team name is The Pink Mavericks.

Coolies Project

Here's my coolies. They are not finished yet. I am waiting for the crystals that get put inside and do the MAGIC and my pink buttons. I had to order both on line. The initial sewing has been done. Then the ironing that I love so much. The next step is to hand sew one end shut. I am almost done with that. Then machine sewing, add crystals, machine sew and hand sew the end. Walla, done. Which one do you want?
:-o)

Sunday joke and thinking thinking all the time.

Ole and Sven were fishing one day when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.

'Ya, shure, I haff a lighter,' he replied, and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.

'Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Vere dit yew git dat monster??'

'Vell,' replied Ole, 'I got it from my Genie.'

'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked..

'Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Ole.

'Could I see him?'

Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.

Addressing the genie, Sven says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'

'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.

So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.
The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks... flying directly overhead...
Over the roar of the million ducks, Sven yells at Ole, 'Yumpin' Yimminy, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'
Ole answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"

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Some training thoughts.
I have been walking around and around the track. There are several things I would like to share. The first thing... I noticed some old bed springs at the track. I thought why did someone dump bed springs here? Well, several days later as I was walking here comes a truck. He hooks up the bed springs and round and round he goes. It did a great job. If you are lucky you learn something everyday. Several days later I watched the track meet for a bit. The next thing... I walked my first 5 miles yesterday. I walk at the gym too but walking outside is different. As Linda said yesterday in her journal the birds were about and nature is cool.(Let me know if you want her journal address & I will get her approval. Linda is a much better writer that I am. You need to be signed up with her to get her updates.) As I walk I am not plugged into anything or watching TV like at the gym. It's really amazing where your mind ends up! The other day I was thinking about my neck coolies that I am making for the 3day. (THE ENTRY TOMORROW WILL SHOW THE COOLIES.) I decided I needed a company name..(right, me and me is the company)but I came up with PINK BUTTON INC., unofficially so far. I ordered the buttons yesterday. They will be my signature. Every artist signs their work you know! So my coolies will have a pink button. Plus, everything else I make from this day forward.
Amen. It is Sunday... :0-)

Cape Disappointment

Why is it called Cape Disappointment? The Cape, projecting into the Pacific Ocean, SW Wash., on the northern side of the mouth of the Columbia River. It was named in 1788 by English Capt. John Meares, who rounded it when searching for the fabled River of the West and was "disappointed" because he could not enter the river (see Northwest Passage). Fort Columbia Historical State Park, a national historic landmark, is on the cape. We went to check this place out after we dug for clams on Sunday. Larry & Jan are work camping in Woodland on the Columbia River. The big ocean container ships from China, Japan etc. enter here, lead in by the lighthouse. This is where the Columbia River meets the ocean. It is very dangerous waters. The ships continue up the river passing by Larry & Jan's RV Park on their way to Portland. It was a very pretty area.

Razor Clammin' day 2

We went to Long Beach, WA for the second day of clamming. We met Larry & Jan. Clamming was not as successful but it was still fun. Have you ever seen such a strange, pretty flower? After lunch we went to Cape Disappointment. It was another gorgeous place.

Sunday joke & cleaning razor clams..rated R

Three men were hiking through a forest... when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: ' God, please give me the strength to cross the river.
Poof!!!
God gave him big arms and strong legs...
and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours,having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed:
'God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river'
Poof!!!
God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs...
and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed:
'God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river'
Poof!!!
HE WAS TURNED INTO A WOMAN!!!
She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards upstream...
and walked across the bridge.
Guys, if at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you!
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Cleaning and eating razor clams. Enjoy..................

What a day! We went a diggin'

Dave wanted to go clam digging. So me and the kids were game. My license was $7.00 for 3 days. The limit is 15 per license. It was soooo fun. We thought we were late because there were people everywhere. But within 1/2 an hour we had our 30 clams. We had so much fun we are meeting Larry & Jan in Long Beach tomorrow to do it again. It is the last day of the season. I'm falling in love with this area.