If you are
56, or older, you might think this is hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing
up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill...
Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew
up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my
kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty,
I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so
easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate
to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the
Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and
look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
2) There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the
street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take a week to get there! Stamps
were 10 cents!
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our
parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had
permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If
you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and
shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it
off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all
up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our
favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would
come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!
If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal,
that's it!
7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either.
If you left the house, you just didn't make a call or receive one. You actually
had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of
the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING.
Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your
parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you
just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox
video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With
games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little
square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple
levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win.
The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you
died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV
Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel
surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the
channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You
could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We
had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted
to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and
play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you
came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the
back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety
arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and
if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot
gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You
kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have
lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 60 Crowd
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