Subject: Bob Hope
In Heaven
BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN
For those of you too young to remember Bob
Hope, ask your Grandparents.
And thanks for the memories.
I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE
ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.
Tribute to a man who DID make a difference.
ON TURNING 70
'I still chase women, but only
Downhill.
ON
TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs
pressing.'
ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost
more than the cake.'
ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel
Anything
until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER,
BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.'
ON
NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at
my home, 'Passover'.
ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just
to pay the green fees.'
ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12 presidents
and entertained only six.'
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor
said to my mother,
Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD
MEDAL
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the
strength of character to fight it.'
ON HIS
FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in the one
bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to
dance. Waiting for the bathroom.'
ON HIS
EARLY FAILURES
'I would not have had
anything to eat if it wasn't for the
Stuff the audience threw at me.'
ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benefits for ALL
religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'
Give me a sense of humor ;
Lord,
give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
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