Sunday Joke!

The blue vest takes Sundays off!


PAY 
SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE 
EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC 
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE 
OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS.

THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE 
WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR 
CORRECTED.INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT 
IN.

1. 
IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING 
THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.



2. 
ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN 
OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN 
PEARS.

3. 
LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE 
DURING THE NIGHT.



4. 
THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE 
WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.



5. 
SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL 
LIKE DELILAH.

6. 
SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE 
APOSTLES.



7. 
MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED 
BREAD,WHICH 
IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.



8. 
THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES 
WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET 
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

 9. THE FIRST 
COMMANDMENT WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE 
APPLE.



10. 
THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT 
ADULTERY.


11. 
MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS 
IN THE BATTLE 
OF GERITOL.

12. 
THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO 
STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.



13. 
DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE 
FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL 
TIMES.



14. 
SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 
PORCUPINES.

15. 
WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA 
CARTA.

16. 
WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS 
IN THE MANAGER. 

17. 
JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE 
CONTRAPTION.



18. 
ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. 
JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS 
BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY 
SWEAT ALONE.



20. 
IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET 
THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. 
THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 
DECIBELS.



22. 
THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.



23. ONE OF THE 
OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.



24. 
ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH 
IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.



25. 
CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED 
MONOTONY.