Sunday Joke!

On the road again.  Off to Browning, MT to see the east side of Glacier Nat'l Park

--------------------------=====================

 The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her  part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or  "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's  serves breakfast  until 11:30.

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris  wheel.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she  screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"

"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned,  I masturbated  while thinking about my sister."  "That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers." 

I've  just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.