A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV, it's a microwave!"
A boy is selling fish on a corner.
To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get
your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you
calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these
fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to
his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised,
"I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way."
He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks
his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now
pass the f*cking potatoes!"
A husband and wife are trying to
set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts,
"Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the
screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
As an airplane is about to crash, a
female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die,
I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and
asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel
like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here,
iron this!".
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