Elephant Butte, NM

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Sunday Words of Wisdom!

FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER                                 

Take two minutes to read, and read all the way to the bottom:                                
  
Written byAndy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words.                                

I've learned .... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
  
I've learned .... That when you're in love, it shows.
  
I've learned .... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
  
I've learned .... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
  
  
I've learned .... That being kind is more important than being right.
  
  
I've learned .... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
  
  
I've learned .... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
  
  
I've learned .... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. 
  
I've learned .... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
  
I've learned .... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
  
I've learned .... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
  
I've learned .... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned .... That money doesn't buy class.
  
I've learned .... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
   
I've learned ... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
  
I've learned .... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
  
I've learned .... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
   
I've learned .... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
  
I've learned .... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
  
I've learned .... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
   
I've learned .... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
   
I've learned ... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
  
I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
   
I've learned .... That when you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
  
I've learned .... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
  
I've learned .... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
  
I've learned .... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
  
I've learned .... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
  
I've learned .... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
  
I've learned .... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
  
To all of you.... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
  
It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!! YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Sunday Joke!

Financial Planning 101

Dan was a single guy, working in the family business with his father.

When he figured out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to enjoy his fortune and perceived lifestyle.

One evening, at an investment seminar, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but my father will soon die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card. 
Three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at some aspects of financial planning than men.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Sunday Joke!


 
Subject: When God Sends Help




My theory is "When God sends you help don't ask questions".





She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this."



She bowed her head and asked God to send her some HELP. Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help. She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"



He said "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open. She hugged the man and through tears said "Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man."



The man replied "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday, I was in prison for car theft."



The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional!"



Is GOD great or what!?!

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Sunday Joke!



$5.37!
That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.
I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher.
Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change
when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.
"Only$4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet?
A mere child!
Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo.
Was he blind?
As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought.
I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter,
and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me,
like I could be that easily distracted!
What am I now?
A toddler?"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
I stared with utter disdain at the keys.
I began to rationalize in my mind! "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!
It could happen to anyone!"I turned and headed back to the truck.
I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.
What now?
I checked my keys and tried another.
Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the 
purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.
I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus:
The car seat in the back seat.
Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard.
A partially eaten dough nut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say 
ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien 
vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot,
relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.
That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger!
My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito,
only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage,
and strode back into the restaurant one final time.
There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish.
All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"?
At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle,
and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue.
I walked back out to the truck,
and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention.
He was holding up a drink and a bag.
His mother explained,
"I think you left this in my truck by mistake."I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words:
"It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone.
Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.
And no, I told the officer, I'm nottoo old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall.
I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket.
I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.
The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other "old fogies" on your list 
(so they can have fun laughing, too).