Sunday joke. Happy Memorial Day. Take a moment to thanks those that fought for our freedom.

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........

-------------------------------------

My tire was thumping..
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-------

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.



--------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


----------------------------------------------------

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.



--------------------------------------------------

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.



*************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.



--------------------------------------------------

We have been friends for a very long time.

let's say we stop?



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.



=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?



-------------------------------------------------

Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.



----------------------------------------

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay